It must be Tuesday

It’s still Monday, where I am, but I am all atwitter over Tuesday, looking forward to Mr Romney’s next ejaculation. Last week, we got a two-fer, as not only did Mr Romney double-down on declaring that I was a jobless moocher, cheerfully sucking down the taxes of my betters, like a frat boy beer-bonging at a keg party, but he also released his blatantly amended tax returns, at the worst possibly time.

Really, Mitt, really? You totally should have waited until Monday. The Friday/Weekend political invisibility cloak was retired in 1996. (I know these things; I tested the beta.) Yeah, Bush managed to suck a few more years out of the networks, but as soon as Zappos came along, anyone with two brain cells to rub together knew that the US would soon be picking its candidates like a new pair of boots.

There may be no “proof” that early voting affects outcomes, but we do know for sure that early voting is largely Democratic. How does correlating these two facts somehow elude the specialists? I do not know. Perhaps only conservative votes actually count? That seems consistent with history, ref. poll taxes, voter challenges, and “negro citizenship.” But who am I to say?

Obviously, I’ve picked my boots. These Obamas are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over the GOP, and I will laugh, laugh, laugh. Schadenfreude, it’s what’s for dinner.

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