Hummus

2 cups cooked chickpeas
1/2 head roasted garlic
1/4 olive oil
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp chili flakes
Salt & pepper to taste

Assemble ingredients. Remove kittens from counter. Using blender or food processor… step on kittens. Curse. Using blender or… knock kitten off of counter. Curse loudly. Using… f*ckin’ weasels, could you for one second get off the?!?!!

Lock kitten in bedroom. Return to kitchen.

Remove other kitten from blender. Clean up mess of ingredients from counter and floor, dump cat-hair-contaminated remaining mixture into garbage, and retire to comfy chair for cigarette and a cup of decaf. Breathe.

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