Zen

Today, I am struggling to breathe. In and out. It’s difficult. I had a major shock on Friday, and I’m really struggling to cope. It’s been a rough couple of days.

I got through last night with the help of my best friend. We’d previously arranged a sleep-over, so I showed up on her doorstep a complete emotional wreck, and spent the next many hours being completely self-absorbed. KFKD Radio (ref. Annie Lamott) kept playing in my head, at deafening volume. I’m still hearing it, so much so that I have a terrible headache. I took a couple of OTC pain-killers to try to prevent a migraine. We’ll see how it turns out.

The weather has been dreadful, so I have no regrets about not gardening, today. Rain, wind, giant fracking hail. I hope the strawberries pull through. Hail can do serious damage, from what I have read.

If the weather is decent, tomorrow, I think I will take out my stress on some dirt, with a shovel. A shovel makes everything better.

I made sauteed asparagus with mango, and baked halibut for dinner. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very good, either. My heart wasn’t in it, and we could both taste it. I should have put more lemon juice in the asparagus, and I coated the halibut with corn chips whizzed in the mini food processor. The fish needed a more complex flavor, and the coating was too dry. It’s better with with ground nuts. I think adding minced Greek olives to the chip coating would work, though. I don’t know. I just wanted to get rid of some of the chips–they are starting to get stale.

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